Saturday, September 11, 2010

Double Dipper!

Ahh Fall. Brings on childhood memories of canning tomatoes, entering drawings and cakes in the fair, and of course, actually going to the fair. It was August in Ohio but up here in the big AK, they wait to exploit all of growing season.

For twelve days, most of the state pours into Palmer to see 100 pound cabbages, 1100 pound pumpkins, pet baby pigs, and practice the American past-time: eating. Fellow road warrior Ashley and I set out to do just that. It was the last day and I'd never been. Bring on Americana!

Our mission: eat one of everything...or as close to it as possible. My pictures are all on facebook and we sampled with the best of 'em. My fav? A cheesecake "burrito" wrapped in filo dough. Ashley went for the jalapeno poppers. It was fair food to the extreme. Foodie regrets are not getting a turkey leg early enough (they sold out!) and not getting myself a Denali cream puff. Brought one home for Rocky and the filling was a mixture of whipped cream and custard, fluffy yet satisfying. As I felt type II diabetes setting in, we headed to the Lumberjack show to digest and hopefully get an eyeful of what "real men" do in the woods.

Turns out, Timber Tina was more manly than anyone I saw there. Tina was running the mic that day but she had been log rolling and lumber-jilling since she was 7. Her voice is apparently famous in the logging world as she commentated for ESPN in the Jack games for 15 years. Talk about making your hobby work for you.

People started showing up in force. It was Labor day and near 4pm the crowds started thickening. On the verge of camping overnight and getting our Fair Hair done (google it, trust me), we decided to call it quits. We came, ate, saw the big veggies, and conquered.

Shock and Awe:
*Three HUGE men wearing shirts that said "I'm not fat, I'm American"
PLEASE don't ever leave the country.
*Wide woman in front of us ordering a double dip of butter on an ear of corn.
Ma'am, it's butter, it just slides right off. But whatever shucks your corn.
*Getting personally escorted to the ribs place by our new friend "Kool-Aid" the security guard
People drag you to their brother's stand to buy crap in India. Not the USA.

Peas in a pod and pigs in a pen. The 4-H clubs were out in force! We kept trying to buy raffle tickets to win a half cow or whole pig but alas, they had sold out. Nothing says Alaska like a freezer full of meat headed into winter. These guys were so cute, made hilarious by the rabid 4-H kids jumping in and out grabbing the piggie's legs to show how easy they were to manage. Hey kid, that mammal has about 150 lbs on you and eats anything. Some of them should have just stuck with goats... or plants.

Had my fill of the fair and so glad I did. Have been aggressively hiking ever since to ward off bacon butt. Happy fall to everyone!